My Top 10 Favorite Quotes From The Office

One of my proudest accomplishments from my senior year of college is watching literally every season of The Office on Netflix. I remember watching my very first episode of the show when I was a senior in high school, tragically, the Diwali episode. I have survived all the episodes, from the cringy Diwali episode to the one where Michael moves away from Scranton. Here are my top ten favorite quotes form the TV series.

#10: I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. Highly applicable to my life. I would wear clothing from my favorite sports teams to exams in college, and also would eat Taco Bell for lunch or dinner the days before or of tests. It was only crazy if it didn’t work, for the most part, it worked. I also am superstitious when it comes to my sports teams. I will eat certain food and wear certain clothes to help them succeed. I’m Slavic and Scots-Irish, so I have had a PhD in superstition since birth.

#9: All I can do right now is put on a brave face. Another quote that sums up the story of my life. I mentioned previously that I struggle with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and a severe form of Major Depressive Disorder. As a result, I cope with strong waves of depression, panic attacks, intense paranoia episodes, and feelings of nervousness when my OCD habits are not satisfied. This quote is applicable when I want to act like things are fine. This was also my quote during midterms and finals in college.

#8: Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. My sister and I have made two different versions of this quote. One of them is: Butts. Buttspiration. Bradley Cooper. The other one is: Strawberries. Salad. Sarah Palin. Jim is too funny. He’s one of my favorite characters on the show. This quote is not only funny, but versatile.

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Stanley Hudson is one of my favorite characters on The Office (Credit: WSBT)

#7: I love Pretzel Day! I actually remember getting some pretzels in college and reciting this quote to the cashier. I actually have a kit for homemade pretzels in my house that I plan to make pretzels from. Pretzels are really yummy treats. I like authentic Bavarian pretzels the best! Pro tip: if you have a stopover in the Munich Airport in Germany, treat yourself to a Bavarian pretzel and a German vanilla milkshake. I love the crunchy outside and chewy inside of these pretzels. Stanley summed up how I feel when he said that quote.

#6: Do not test my politeness. I do not like when people wrong me. This quote is applicable in many different parts of my life. This quote is good for when you are driving and other people are driving as if they got their licenses out of septic tanks. It’s also applicable when people are hogging entire aisles in the grocery store with their carts and/or families, or when someone tries to get away with eating your leftover Texas Roadhouse without your actual verbal permission. Andy totally spoke for me with their quote.

#5: Ryan started the fire. Anyone else remember when everyone in the Dunder Mifflin office had to evacuate because Ryan toasted his cheesy pita bread until it turned to charcoal? I do, especially after Dwight and Michael sang a song about it to the tune of the hit Billy Joel song We Didn’t Start The Fire. There even is a YouTube video where people made a full song called Ryan Started The Fire. I will link said video down below.

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Ryan Howard and his “frosted tips” (Credit: California Golden Blogs)

#4: DID I STUTTER!? The first time I heard this quote, I knew that Stanley meant business. I love Stanley. In my opinion, he’s an underrated character who deserves a lot more love than he got. Something I adore about Stanley is that he is not afraid to stand up to anybody who has wronged him. Leslie David Baker has done a wonderful job of playing Stanley’s character. He is definitely on my top 35 favorite actors of all time.

#3: I. Declare. BANKRUPTCY! I felt this quote when I saw how much it cost to run the washer and dryer cycles at my alma mater’s dorms. Thankfully, the student government had since voted to make dorm laundry free. The thought of paying rent, insurance, car financing, car maintenance, veterinary bills, and grocery bills as a full-fledged grown-up also puts this quote in my mind. I do trust myself to make healthy financial decisions in the future, however.

#2: NO GOD! NO GOD PLEASE NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOO! This quote is the anthem of my reactions to minor inconveniences. That’s how I also felt about cumulative final exams in college. I wasn’t the best test-taker in college; however, I did teach myself how to study as effectively as possible. As much as I love this quote, there’s one that I love even more.

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Michael Scott having his “NO GOD PLEASE NO!” moment when his least favorite coworker, Toby, returns from vacation (Credit: Know Your Meme)

#1: Boy have you lost your mind? Cause I’ll help you find it! Moral of this quote: Never mess with Stanley Hudson. I know this quote is based on a more serious scene, as Stanley was screaming at Ryan for trying to mess with his teenage daughter. It was an iconic quote. I even made a twist on it at Rockies Fan Fest in January. I spoke into the dugout phone saying that I didn’t want to see the umpires get calls wrong. I asked the imaginary umpires if they had lost their minds and that I would find them. I have trust issues with umpires. I have seen them get way too many calls wrong, especially the call where Alex Bregman was out at third base due to spectator interference when I was adamant he was safe at third.

HONORABLE MENTION: Me think, why waste time say lot word when few word do trick? The essay-writing anthem. I’m the kind of person who can say what I need to say in a report in few words. To me, having to write an essay that is, say, 1800 words long and saying what I have to say in 700 words is like being forced to add players to a baseball team already consisting of players such as Wil Myers, Charlie Blackmon, Josh Donaldson, Juan Soto, and Ji-Man Choi. I digress.

HONORABLE MENTION: I am Beyoncé. Always. I love music by Beyoncé. I could listen to Run The World (Girls) and Single Ladies for days on end. This quote is hilarious. There’s just something about Michael Scott that makes him a comedian and cuckoo boss all in one.

HONORABLE MENTION: I am running away from my responsibilities and it feels good. This is how I felt in college during “crunch academic times.” In addition to midterms and finals, I felt college was a little more stressful just before Thanksgiving, at the end of February, and in April. I didn’t want to study; I wanted to watch Dateline or write for fun instead.

What’s your favorite quote from The Office? Let me know in the comments below.

The Ryan Started The Fire video:


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