A Somewhat Brief Appreciation Of Minnesota Twins Outfielder Max Kepler

Er ist so schön! Sein Kichern und seine Stimme lassen mich in Ohnmacht fallen! Seine Grübchen und sein Lählen sind auch so attraktiv! Translation: He is so beautiful! His giggle and voice make me swoon! His dimples and smile are also so attractive! Okay, it’s evident I’m talking about a boy. But which boy? His name? Max Kepler, a star Minnesota Twins outfielder who is a native German speaker.

Max was born in Berlin, Germany. That’s what really caught my attention. I have a small amount of German heritage on my mother’s side of the family, but it’s very small, from what I know. I will be very shocked if my 23andMe results (should I ever do that) come in with more than three percent German. I digress. He comes from a very athletic family; both his parents are professional dancers and he grew up playing sports. I relate to that. I have done gymnastics and dance since I was a young girl. I almost played softball and basketball in middle school, and wanted to join the high school track team. My siblings played soccer, basketball, baseball, and softball.

Max has had an extremely impressive trip to the Major Leagues. After training with Berlin’s John F. Kennedy School at the Little League Level, he began rigorously training at St. Emmeram Academy and even got to play with literally the most elite baseball team in Germany, the Buchbinder Legionäre  Regensburg. Wow, Max! Way to knock my socks off, and I mean this in a good way! If I had a family member, friend, classmate, neighbor, or acquaintance like that, I’d be bragging about their talents to whomever would be listening, from my diary to friends of friends.

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Max with his teammate, Bryon Buxton, during spring training in Fort Myers, Florida (Credit: Tumblr)

The Twins did an excellent job of adding Max to their team, and his stats prove it. After being called up quite late in the 2015 season, he has fast-tracked a successful, scary good career. His jaw-dropping statistics include 482 career hits, 97 home runs, 308 runs, 291 runs batted in, and 18 stolen bases. I’m starting to question, is Max even a human being? Or is he a unicorn-alien-Pomeranian-Pegasus-Clydesdale mix? I have no idea where that came from or why I decided that it makes sense, but either way, it is my firmly held opinion that Max is an elite player.

It comes as zero shock to me that he has amazing statistics. The Twins have been playing bone-chillingly good baseball these past couple of years. Last year I was partially adamant they would win the World Series, and I even saw a wonderful human mention that they predicted the Twins would make an appearance in the Fall Classic. Considering how well Max has been performing, he’s likely to become MVP for one or more of the following: American League, American League Championship Series, and/or World Series.

One of the most iconic moments of his career in the United States is his 17th-inning walk-off versus Boston in 2019. What’s impressive is that he walked off Boston of all teams, the reining World Champions. I was pleased because I’m not really a Red Sox fan myself, I only rooted for them in the 2018 World Series because I like the team they were playing, the Dodgers, even less. I digress (sorry about the rhyme!). That is one patient baseball team, if you ask me! That game lasted nearly six hours. Mad props to the players, who were likely super exhausted by that time, and to the fans, having to sit through such a barbarically long game.

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Max poses for a headshot (Credit: St. Cloud Times)

I’d like to give Max mad props for his high school career in the United States. After being enrolled at Fort Myers High School by the Twins at his mother’s request, Max finished the eleventh and twelfth grades all in one year while preparing for the big leagues. That’s really amazing, in my opinion. I can relate to that in somewhat of a sense, having completed my Bachelor of Arts in general sociology in a timely manner while working hospitality jobs in my spare time. With that being said, I feel like Max could set an example for people: you can pursue career and academic goals if you believe in yourself and put your heart and soul into it.

I can tell that Max’s family is very proud of their son and brother. He credits his mother for helping kickstart his career by encouraging him to explore the sport he loves in the United States. Even baseball coaches in Berlin told the Kepler-Rozycki family that they can learn from their son and brother. That, combined with his statistics, shows how wonderful Max is and I can only imagine the joy his parents have in their hearts for their son’s success. Considering the fact that his younger sister Emma also attended high school in Fort Myers, Florida, and played on the golf team, I bet half a dozen bagels that she is barbarically proud of her older brother and looks up to him.

Max seems like a very handsome, very kind young man. I’ve seen an interview in German with him (which I will link below), where he has the cutest voice, smile, giggle, and dimple. I developed a huge crush on him as a result. Another interview, which will also be linked below, I get a vibe from him that he’s very fun-loving and full of happy energy. He one hundred percent seems like the kind of person you’d invite over to eat mug cake and watch every episode of  The Office.

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Max with his father Marek, mother Kathy, and sister Emma (Credit: Fox Sports 2)

Keep up the great work, Max! Lass uns gehen!





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